Has your marriage ended before you were ready for it to end? Are you now, after marriage, looking around for a way forward?
Well if you are down in the dumps and don’t particularly know what you’re going to do, then quite frankly, you need a plan to get yourself up and looking forward to the future.
So, let’s approach this new situation with optimism and hope. The first thing that you need to do is come to terms with whatever happened in your marriage to end it. If you made mistakes, then forgive yourself. We’re all human and we all make mistakes. If all you’re doing is sitting home and feeling sorry for yourself, then you’ll make no progress. So accept that you’ve made some mistakes and get ready to move on. Of course give yourself time to get over the ending of your marriage, but it would be a huge mistake if you were still stuck in the same emotional place a year from now.
Once you’ve had some time to come to terms with the end of your marriage, then the best thing you can do next is to think about what you want to do as an individual. Is there a different career path that you’re interested in but you just never had the time or inclination to pursue? Have you always wanted to travel and never been able to find the time? Perhaps your ex never shared your love of a particular country? Well you can get up, get motivated and take that trip now!
If you have children to consider then whatever life journey you embark upon make sure that you leave space for them. After marriage it is very easy to find that you and your ex have both blamed and taken your respective sides and forgotten about the children. Make every effort and then some, to reassure your children that you are still part of their lives and you love them and want to see them as much as you can. If you’re hurt and upset about the break down of your marriage, imagine how hurt your children are!
After marriage there is no time limit by which you should aim to start dating again. Only you know how you feel and if and when you want to start dating again. However, don’t be afraid to actually start dating again. Yes you’ve been hurt by the end of your marriage, but get your head together and don’t let that stop you from having some fun.
Above all remember that your marriage might be over but it doesn’t mean that your life is over. Whether you were ready for the marriage to end or not, the marriage has ended. What you have to do now, after marriage, is to give yourself time to recover emotionally but then always, at the forefront of your mind, get ready to move on.
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